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Are You Ready To Move Onto Something Better than Workplace Bullying?

By Valerie Cade CSP

Are you ready to let go?  Another question:  Are you ready to move onto something better with regard to dealing with your workplace bullying?  In my book Bully Free At Work , I highlight a step-by-step plan on ‘moving through’ in Chapter 8:  Handling The Bully.

There still might be some ways that you are resisting the change you so deserve.  Take note to a better, more hopeful, future.

Denial

“There is nothing (really) wrong.”

“I really can’t change this situation.” (Not true – we can always do something)

“It will be okay – the bully was nice to me today.  I think they’re coming around.” (Refer to ‘The Bullying Cycle’ in Chapter 7).

“What good will it do to change?”

“It (i.e. the bullying) will go away.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Fear

“They’ll reject me.” (Aren’t they doing that anyway?)

“I might get hurt.” (Aren’t you already hurt?)

“I may have to change  i.e. my job, my behavior, etc.” (Is what you have right now worth holding on to?)

“It’s hard.” (Yes, it is; but so is a slow death of not doing anything).

Steps to Take for Moving Through

Come to terms with your resistance (if you have any).

Make a list of what you would like to do instead.

Know that nothing is bad forever.

Know that bullies bully because they can.  You must change your boundary to let them know this is not acceptable.

In case you are doubting if this is worth the time and effort to address (a resistance tactic), remember:  there is never an excuse for rude behavior.  It is unacceptable.  Period.

Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of “Bully Free at Work:  What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!” which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide.  For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to  http://www.bullyfreeatwork.com

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Topics: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Are You Ready To Move Onto Something Better than Workplace Bullying?”

  1. Christine Says:
    October 12th, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Hi Valerie, I love your stuff: it’s amazing!! In my case, I have already left the workplace where I experienced bullying, and I have really only started to think about it now in a serious sense – I previously laughed it off, regaling my friends with stories about this guy.

    Anyway, do you have any thoughts on whether it is worth taking action after I have left, and what would be the best way? Part of me would love to unmask the bully, but another part says it’s best to let this go (I am a lawyer by trade and the daughter of an activist, so I know the toll that pursuing these things can take). One of my colleagues thought I should make a formal complaint, so that if the bully makes negative comments about me, people will have doubts about his motivation.

  2. Jechang Says:
    October 12th, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Even if you tried your best to let go and move onto something better with regard to dealing with workplace bullying, the problems really are that none cares. In my saturation, I tried all methods to deal with workplace bullying after been bullied more than two years by a group of bullies, but the bullies are receiving award for “Improving the Work Environment” from corporation.

  3. Leonard Nolt Says:
    October 17th, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Greetings Ms Cade;
    Thank you for your commets in this mailing and for the work you do to address the serious problem of workplace bullying. The points you make are valid and improtant. I was the target of a workplace bully for over two and a half years at a medical center in Idaho. I was diagnosed by my employer with PTSD as a result of the bullying but never offered any protection from additional injury or any treatment for the injury. I’ve written extensively about my experiences on my blog at http://www.leonardnolt.blogspot.com under the heading “Workplace Psychological Abuse.” Thanks again.

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    September 24th, 2012 at 8:59 pm

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  5. Susie Says:
    July 18th, 2013 at 5:50 am

    Thanks for a marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it,
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  6. Val Says:
    February 1st, 2014 at 12:13 am

    Yes! Finally someone who writes about workplace bullying with some expertise! Thank you for your excellent advice.

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