Click Here to Order Ebook Now! Click Here to Order Hardcover Now!


What To Do When The Bully Attacks You With Accusations That Are Not True

By Valerie Cade CSP

The scenario from one of our readers:  How do I stop a bully boss from ‘attacking’ me with untrue accusations? He believes the customer over me. When I try and interrupt him, he puts me on hold.

Ask: “What Does My Boss Probably Want?”

  1. In this case, the boss probably wants to be seen as competent and capable; in fact, most of us do.
  2. Consider that it may be difficult for this boss to know exactly how to handle a customer’s complaint. They may be wrestling with ‘never make the customer wrong’ and they may also be wrestling with ‘any employee behavior is seen as a reflection on this boss personally’. This boss may have trouble separating the customer’s needs with supporting and leading employees.
  3. This boss probably does not want to be interrupted, but heard as well, especially since they may have just had it out with a customer.

Ask: “What Do I Want?”

  1. What do we want from our boss? Usually support, recognition and to be believed.
  2. We want our boss to listen to us until we feel heard.
  3. We want our boss to listen to the customer without compromising the morale of the staff.

What’s Really Going On?

  1. The boss is responsible to run the company and maintain customers and happy staff.
  2. The boss would probably be more apt to listen to an employee especially when he/she feels supported and allowed to speak until he/she is finished (even if he/she is wrong and making false accusations).
  3. The boss may be trying to maintain his/her own need to be seen as effective over looking at the truth of the matter (your view vs the customer’s view).

What You Can Do

  1. Allow your boss to finish his/her statements, especially if they have anger attached to them. Let the hot air out of the balloon first.
  2. Remind yourself that by pushing back at that particular time, you will not likely win.
  3. Choose to approach your boss after the dust settles and when your boss has time to hear you.
  4. Have a ‘classy’ crucial conversation that counts! (Taking the high road to where you want to lead the bully).

Valerie Cade, CSP is a Workplace Bullying Expert, Speaker and Author of “Bully Free at Work:  What You Can Do To Stop Workplace Bullying Now!” which has been distributed in over 100 countries worldwide.  For presentations and consulting on workplace bullying prevention and respectful workplace implementation, go to

You have permission to use the above article in your newsletter, publication or email system using this email link only and not by reproducing the article as full text.

© Bully Free at Work. All rights reserved: All trademarks used or referred to on this site are the property of their respective owners. No materials on this site may be reproduced, altered, or further distributed without Bully Free at Work’s prior written permission.

Share This Post

Topics: Uncategorized | 37 Comments »

37 Responses to “What To Do When The Bully Attacks You With Accusations That Are Not True”

  1. Mildred Says:
    October 23rd, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    I will be ptutnig this dazzling insight to good use in no time.

  2. Delores Says:
    November 24th, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    Amazing issues here. I am very happy to recommend your posts.

  3. Augustus Says:
    December 16th, 2013 at 6:37 pm

    I like the valuable information you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.
    I am quite certain I will learn plenty of new stuff
    right here! Best of luck for the next!

    Feel free to visit my website … incriminating

  4. Silvia Says:
    December 29th, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Perfectly written!

  5. Kristine Says:
    January 9th, 2014 at 8:27 am

    This post is priceless. Thank you!

  6. Cory Says:
    January 21st, 2014 at 2:01 am

    I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your
    blog is great, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back to down the road.
    All the best

  7. Maxie Says:
    January 23rd, 2014 at 8:24 am

    An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker
    who had been doing a little homework on this. And he actually
    bought me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him…

  8. Kellye Says:
    February 4th, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    Thank you, I’ve just been searching for information approximately this topic for ages and yours is the best I’ve found out so far.

  9. Kareem Says:
    February 7th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    I’m glad that you shared this useful info with us.
    Please keep writing and sharing on this important topic! Thank you for sharing.

  10. Emilie Says:
    February 19th, 2014 at 7:11 am

    There’s certainly a lot to learn about this issue. I love all of the points
    you’ve made.

  11. Joshua Says:
    February 19th, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    Hi, I rеad your blogs daily. Your story-tellinց stʏlе is witty, keep doing what you’re

  12. Celsa Says:
    February 20th, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    I was excited to uncover this page. I want to to thank you for your
    time due to this fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you
    saved to fav to check out new information on your site.

  13. Aidan Says:
    February 22nd, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    This was an exceptionally good post.

  14. Martha Says:
    February 23rd, 2014 at 4:20 am

    Fantastic information. You are extremely fantastic.
    I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what
    you are saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care to keep it smart.
    I can not wait to read more from you. This is a great site.

  15. Nicole Says:
    February 23rd, 2014 at 6:47 am

    Incredible points. Solid arguments. Keep up the amazing

  16. Neal Says:
    February 23rd, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    I believe this is among the most important info for me.
    And I am satisfied with the advice in your articles. The web site style is perfect, the articles is truly great : D. Good process, cheers

  17. Felicitas Says:
    February 27th, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different page and thought I
    may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you.
    Look forward to looking into your web page repeatedly.

  18. Rena Says:
    March 2nd, 2014 at 7:13 am

    This is my first time go to see at here and i am truly impressed
    to read all at one place.

  19. Carroll Says:
    March 3rd, 2014 at 7:31 am

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have
    really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  20. Christian Says:
    March 3rd, 2014 at 11:46 am

    This site truly has all of the information I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to

  21. Loyd Says:
    March 3rd, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    I’m more than happy to find this web site. I want to to thank you
    for your time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and i also
    have you saved to fav to check out new things on your site.


  22. Georgia Says:
    March 6th, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    Great advice. I need to spend some time finding out more or understanding more.
    Thank you for magnificent info!

  23. Gladis Says:
    March 8th, 2014 at 7:10 am

    I found this information excellent!
    Really useful and it helped me out very much. I hope to give something back and help others like you
    helped me.

  24. Frederick Says:
    March 8th, 2014 at 10:51 am

    Tremendous things here. I’m very glad to look your post.
    Thank you so much and I am taking a look ahead to contact you.

  25. Aiden Says:
    March 9th, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found
    that it is truly informative. I am going to watch out for
    more. A lot of people will benefit from your writing. Cheers!

  26. Janet Says:
    March 11th, 2014 at 5:15 am

    Everything is very open with a clear clarification of the issues.
    It was truly informative. Your site is very helpful.
    Thanks for sharing!

  27. Brenton Says:
    March 12th, 2014 at 6:59 am

    Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it,
    you are a great author.I will remember to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later on.
    I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great writing!

  28. Lydia Says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Greetings from Ohio! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse
    your website on my iphone during lunch break.
    I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when
    I get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my phone ..

    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, superb blog!

  29. Josie Says:
    March 15th, 2014 at 10:57 am

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog.

  30. Hunter Says:
    March 16th, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Hey very nice blog!

  31. Wally Says:
    March 17th, 2014 at 12:37 am

    This design is steller! You certainly know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to
    start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

  32. Royal Says:
    March 30th, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Nice post. I constantly check this site and I’m impressed!
    Extremely useful information particularly the last part :) I was looking for this particular information
    for a long time. Thanks and good luck.

  33. Salvatore Says:
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room
    mate! He always kept chatting about this.

    I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a
    good read. Thanks for sharing!

  34. Marcos Says:
    April 2nd, 2014 at 6:32 am

    Great delivery. Sound arguments. Keep up the amazing effort.

  35. Fredrick Says:
    April 3rd, 2014 at 6:51 am

    I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.
    Thanks for great information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  36. Mikayla Says:
    April 5th, 2014 at 9:28 am

    I amazed with the analysis you made to make this actual submit extraordinary.
    Magnificent job!

  37. Windy Says:
    April 7th, 2014 at 11:04 am

    Usually I don’t read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up compelled me to take a look at and do it!

    Your writing taste has surprised me. Thank you,
    quite a great post.